'dead parent club'
oil paint, fabric paint, paint marker on canvas, 2020
For the last few weeks of his life, in the first covid 19 lockdown, as the brain tumor which had spread rapidly consumed my dad i stood in the garden painting. Unsure as to how to process or interact with the fact he was dying, imminently, i poured my emotions into this work. The meditative sensations of dragging paint across the canvas calmed me. He thoroughly supported and encouraged my desire to create, i felt connected to him whilst i was working. I don't know if he understood what i was doing or working on but i felt loved as i recalled all the times he had helped me to create things. During his surgery a pink neon dye was injected into his brain to help identify the limits of his tumour. After the surgery he was never the same again, and then a few months later he died.